::Thoughts Of a
Trapped In Her Own Mind::
My Joys And Trials Of Being A Young Mom And Learning To Over Come Obstacles:
I refuse to be a victim or another statistic I am a fighter and a survivor.. I am a wife, A mother and yet still a young girl..I have always believed I have more of a purpose here in life..Maybe that's why I was given many struggles.. I have struggled with Depression for some time now though I didn't know it till after I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression and found out later depression had been part of my life for some time....I ask myself everday who am I? and why am I here?...For me my biggest accomplishment so far is my babies..They have taught me so much mostly to appreciate life itself and how to enjoy every moment of my life with them..I only wish I didn't have to be lost to my fears and that I could control the thoughts that run deep within me..I fight everyday to stay strong.. Not only for me..For the little lives I have created..In hopes that one day,They will look at me and say.. She wasn't perfect but she tried,and maybe my trials will be their strength and they will know to never give up..To keep reaching and you will acheive... *Devi0us*




Having an A ok Day So far lol... 
Damien: Now 13 Weeks old, My how time does fly by! He has amazed me these first few months. He holds his head up really well, and has been since around 8 weeks or so, he never really had much of a floppy head lol. And now when I prop him up on the couch he will actually lean up to try and sit up unfortunately sometimes he leans a little too far and ends up almost toppling over
so I can never leave him for even a second by himself lol. And he is just all smiles, he is such a happy baby. It's so funny because when I was pregnant with him I couldn't help but wonder how I would manage with 2 babies and what my life would be like and just what kind of baby he would be, I figured my luck he was gonna be as fussy as can be! I kept thinking how dramatically things were gonna change for me, And it has but far from what I imagined. Sure the house work is about as hectic as I thought if not more and the laundry has piled as high as I've ever seen before or even thought possible lol, But he has been sooooo pleasant and brought so much more happiness to this house that I can't even imagine what it would be like if he wasn't in our lives! He is just adorable and so loving, you can just see it in his eyes, he has possibly the cutest smile I've ever seen if I do say so myself! Jasmine just adores him and always rushes to his side to give him his bottle if he cries and gives him her blanket to comfort him and Rene always wants to hold him and thinks it's so funny that everytime he gets in Damien's sight Damien just laughs for no apparent reason lol. I guess he already thinks Rene is silly! And Daddy just loves that Damien already shows interest in computer gaming by not taking his eyes off the computer for a second when Daddy plays MOHAA! He loves the t.v as well which is weird because he actually sits in his swing and seems to be really interested in what he's watching lol.
He is also the most cuddliest baby ever! You can hold him and he doesn't wiggle and fuss he just lies there staring at your face, smiling and cooing. He loves to fall asleep on my chest and loves to be close to me. i'm just so taken by him and can't help but give him so much hugs and kisses, I think I like having him in my arms and cuddling with him than he actually enjoys it lol! I love every new thing he does and look forward to everyday with him!He just warms my heart!And Miss Jasmine Now 17 months, is just as silly as can be! She is great with baby brother and looooves to run around with big brother Rene! She is so helpful and helps sweep or mop, of course when I'm cleaning she'll go behind me and pull it all back out and put it where she wants it lol but I suppose I should be thankful she helps! She absolutely loves books and loves to be read to, when we go to the library she has so much fun picking out the ones she wants! She even puts her books away when she's done looking at them! She loves music and knows the channels on the t.v that they are on as well as cartoons lol. She dances and moves her lips to the songs,it is just too cute! She is learning so much everyday and does some of the cutest things I've ever seen or heard! I love the way she says thank you, so polite already lol. Even when she's mad she's cute. She amazed me the other day because she is already trying to dress herself and actually got her shorts on the right legs and pulled them up! She's growing so fast.Everyday with her is so fun. Now that she's getting older, it's fun to see her point of view on things and her interests. She has been a joy as well, of course she has her moments as they all do and she can have a pretty big attitude! Let's just say she knows what she wants and how to get it lol. I look forward to every new thing she learns!She brings out the inner child in me and I love having fun with her, whether singing with her, playing a game or reading, it means so much to me and I enjoy every minute of it! The other day she made her first paper turkey I printed out the instructions and Rene, Jasmine and I sat in the kitchen making Thanksgiving turkeys, I helped Jasmine trace her feet and hands and glue the peices together,it was the cutest little turkey I've ever seen!! Both of their turkey's are hanging up on my kitchen wall
Rene's Turkey Jasmine's Turkey


Arent they adorable? lol They had fun making them. And I had fun with them as well!
Rene's doing much better in school and is happy he get's his PS2 back lol. He is such a good helper and has the biggest heart ever! In school they had to do a report on what they are thankful for and he said" I am thankful for my brother my sister and my dad and having the nicest mom EVER!" which I thought I'm kinda hard on him sometimes lol. He says he enjoys the crafts I do with them and that his favorite thing to do is spend time with me. So I must be doing a good job somewhere along the line lol.
Mike's mom comes in sometime tonight so I've got quite a bit of cleaning to do I'm not gonna go crazy on the cleaning or anything just maybe do a little extra
or maybe not lol...Anyhoo I better get started cause I don't wanna be cleaning all day lol.....
Have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving!!!
**Devi0us...
Hi hon,