::Thoughts Of a
Trapped In Her Own Mind::
My Joys And Trials Of Being A Young Mom And Learning To Over Come Obstacles:
I refuse to be a victim or another statistic I am a fighter and a survivor.. I am a wife, A mother and yet still a young girl..I have always believed I have more of a purpose here in life..Maybe that's why I was given many struggles.. I have struggled with Depression for some time now though I didn't know it till after I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression and found out later depression had been part of my life for some time....I ask myself everday who am I? and why am I here?...For me my biggest accomplishment so far is my babies..They have taught me so much mostly to appreciate life itself and how to enjoy every moment of my life with them..I only wish I didn't have to be lost to my fears and that I could control the thoughts that run deep within me..I fight everyday to stay strong.. Not only for me..For the little lives I have created..In hopes that one day,They will look at me and say.. She wasn't perfect but she tried,and maybe my trials will be their strength and they will know to never give up..To keep reaching and you will acheive... *Devi0us*




I should be feeling energetic I am sooo gonna need the energy...
he's "hungies" again
Goal For The Week:
TRY to take it easy and only do what needs to be done!
I Just got in from taking Jasmine and Damien to the library where there was story time for children ages 0-6 years old,it was too cute! They told stories and did a little stretching and dancing!Why hadn't I known about this sooner?I've been looking for fun things to do with the kids since we are always home and with it being so cold lately we don't get to get out much and go to the park or anything.There's gotta be some fun activities to do at home.I used to be so good at coming up with things for the kids to do and now I'm all out of ideas.Tomorrow Arthur and some other characters from PBS will be at the library with fun activities for kids to do but if it is any colder tomorrow than it is today I don't think we'll be goin.Jasmine was surprisingly pleasent during story time she just watched quietly and Damien was awake and I propted him up in the stroller so he could see and he just watched quietly as well.Afterwards we looked at the childrens books and Jasmine waled around looking at the other little kids and joined in with going through books with them,she really liked being around other children her age.After about 45 minutes of playing and looking through some books I decided to check them out and get goin cause I've got a bit of cleaning to do.Miss Jasmine was not happy to leave at all! Walking out she started wining and when we got out the door it turned into a wail,she didn't want to get in her stroller so I decided to let her walk.She was fine a good 15 seconds before wailing again.Good thing we only live right around the corner!Three houses down from me is a house with 2 pitbulls,not exactly friendly dogs but she sen them and immediately wanted to run to the gate and touch them,When I wouldn't let her she stuck out her bottom lip and let the tears flow.She absolutely LOOOOVES dogs "wow wow" she says pointing with a little frown on her face "yes,wow wow" I say "wow wow bites" "ow bite"she said still wanting to see them.Finally we get to our apartment and she eagerly runs to the door,I open it and she grabs her blanket off the stroller,gets her bottle and sits looking at her books.And here I am now,Damien in his swing asleep,and Jasmine wailing because now she wants to be in her stroller.How ironic,when she's supposed to be in it she don't want to and now it's time to put it away and she wants to be in it.Children. I sit here looking at the house and wonder just where to start first,Lord knows I don't even want to try to tackle my laundry closet
.I just finished laundry on Sunday I believe and that closet is full again
.My room,it's filled with Jasmine's toys everywhere and the living room isn't too bad but still,and my kitchen let's just say "beware" lol I've been doing so good with the house keeping everything in order but by nighttime my goodness! I'm like " I did clean today didn't I?" hmmm.Now just how the hell do some people keep it clean all the damn time with little ones? I remember when I was younger and going to my aunts house no matter when we showed up her house was always clean! As was my grandmothers and she's always got the grandkids over yet with me it's like mission impossible! There is nooo way my house is gonna stay clean longer than 5 minutes!I've got Miss Jasmine running behind me "improving" my cleaning lol.I put one thing here and as soon as I walk away she's putting it there.Last night Rene was putting the frosting on the cake he baked and I turn around and Jasmine is mopping the floor!She had both the broom and the mop out and was using them both lol.Well atleast she tries
. I was still contemplating what to do first and it reminds me of the schedual I made for myself on things to do each day as well as some "aromatherapy" (which is basically a bubble bath with candles) for me,and let's just say I made it a week ago and have not followed it whatsoever!I am sooo disorganized lol,even when I mke a schedual I just can't follow it,my days and children do not allow for one lol.So enough procrastinating I better get started on something! **Devi0us......

Hi hon,