It was just too much to handle with the windows keyboard lol!So not fun at all so we went to walmart last night and got one for $9.00 cheap yes but it does the job!Got a digital camera as well for $19.99 Let's just say I'm going picture crazy lol!

 And On another subject I am very proud of myself for getting 100% on a writing review on my G.E.D practice last night!I had to do an essay as well and on a scale of 1-4 I got a 3!! I guess I'm not as dusty as I thought I was!!It is pretty hard though,on one of the review practices I got only a 50% which isn't passing I was sad about that but damn it it was hard,I finally passed it on the 3rd try.It was questions about parallel sentences and I guess I wasn't understanding the questions they were asking cause I kept failing on that one lol but everything else I did exceptional so that brightens my day! I can not WAIT till I take the real test and pass that baby!I'm so anxious and very ready to get my G.E.D!I really hope I can do it in 3 months.

It's really weird because I used to be able to understand things so easily and now with the depression it really does make your mind foggy and it's really hard to focus and remember a sentence you just read!I never used to be like that before depression,I've read about that happening but didn't think it was true for me,I guess it is.Depression makes concentrating so hard it's like you have too many thoughts processing at one time and you can't stay focused long enough on one thing which only depresses you more.I am trying really trying to stay on top of depression but man it puts up a hell of a fight!My mind is so cloudy sometimes that it becomes hard to distinguish true feelings,I know it tries to confuse you and I tell myself all the time those thoughts aren't how I trully feel!However it does a really good job in confusing who you really are,it takes so much sometimes to not let it beat the hell out of you because honestly it seems to be so much easier to just give in to the sad feelings but when you know deep down inside you really are a pleasant and loveable person it makes you fight all the harder!I can't let it beat me maybe in the end it will but I will fight as long as I can atleast long enough to raise my babies and teach them to be fighters as well,sometimes it hurts alot when these feelings take hold because it can make you feel completely insane!I remember when I used to take sooo much pride in taking care of my babies and redecorating my apartment and being so creative and full of love! And now I wonder How was it that I could function then without the fear and lonliness because now it seems nearly impossible to have a day without it.It's sad because it can change your life and take everything from you in an instant.The you you thought you knew transforms into someone you never knew in the instant that anxiety grabs you.It can be scary at times when you let it because you start to wonder "will I ever be normal?""Will I ever be able to be the person I once was?" It's hell on your body as well,headaches,chest tightness,nausea,and many more symptoms.This to me is a trial God has given me,maybe to make me stronger or to appreciate what he has given me even more or maybe even to be able to help others like myself.Whatever his plan is for me I know it's one worthwhile and perhaps in the end I will have the last laugh on depression.But even if I don't I won't live my life "waiting" for it to take me,I will try to be as happy as possible and as loving to my family as possible so that I can say "In The End I Made The Most Of My Life Even With Depression"......Devi0us

Hi hon,
Digi cams are the neatest thing. Have you found a place online to store your pics for a back up? I use PhotoBucket to store my and you can link them etc.
The GED has gotten a lot harder since I took it. Try not to be too hard on yourself. The longer you are out of school the harder that thing is! I think that you did excellent!
Take care,
Aidan

Hey Devious Just like Kris S said, its easy to get lost in the masses here...and thats what happens from time to time. Sorry I came to find you depressed..I get it too but it always passes...weather and hormones...lol.Have a dream Devious and never lose sight of the dream, it doesn't matter how impossible the dream is so long as you have one...it really does help. I will be back again soon...promise! Have fun with the new camera, I would be lost without mine.