Well Thursday Rene came home with a note from his school saying that he had detention on the 17th and 18th with a not attached with the reason.He supposedly called another schoolmate wich happens to be a girl some pretty horrible names ie. stupid,bitch,and asshole! Now I usually do not overreact against a note my child gets sent from school but that was just BAD!! I told Rene to Please tell me that this was NOT true!! He said he promised he was telling the truth that he DID NOT say it and would never say those things because he knows how i feel about namecalling and especially about treating girls badly and that he would not want anyone to treat his sister that way.Knowing how his dad used to treat me I would hope he would never say those things!! So now I'm just FURIOUS!! I was wondering why if he had said those things why didn't the school call me immediately? /last week I got a call from his teacher because he was writing a not for the tattle box because one of his classmates wouldn't leave him alone and his teacher was upset he was writing when she was instructing but yet they don't call me to say my child had said these things and I think that is waaaay more serious than writing a note for the tattle box! So I called the school right after he gave me the note and it was 3:15pm and to my surprise no answer so im like Wt! Mike was home and he said he didn't think Rene would say anything like that and that I really should get to the bottom of it so i left a message saying that Rene came home with a really bad note and i would appreciate it if someone called me soon. 3:45 rolls around i call again no answer,so I keep calling like every 5 minutes finally at 4:50pm I leave another message sounding anything but happy and say once again for the principal or the dean of behavior who both signed the note for atleast one of them to call me about the crappy note. Needless to say I got no call from anyone and I was totally pissed the whole night. I talked with Rene about truth and lying and to just be honest if he did infact say those things and he began to cry and said he would never ever say those things but the other 2 boys were calling her names so he walked away and went to go play with some of his other friends so i told him that I really hoped he wasn't lying but that I trully did believe he wouldn't say something so horrible,I was just worried at the fact that the principal was the one who wrote it because she was the one who said she caught the boys saying those things but I was mad at the fact that no one had called me! SO Friday morning I'm up at like 6:45am i was sooo eager to get this solved!Not only because I believed he hadn't said it but because if he did not only had he lied to me but he knows how I feel about namecalling anyone and especially about treating girls with respect! he would have been in SERIOUS trouble!! he was already punished for writng while the teacher was instructing so it would have been much worse.Unfortunately I'm not exactly the kinda mom who says "oh honey, you shouldn't say things like that " I am pretty strict and he knows that,sometimes I wish I could be relaxed but all honesty I have no time for unnesasary  crap! I understand mistakes but I always tell them learn from it and move on,but something like that I just can't see that as a mistake,so I wanted to be sure before he got in serious trouble. So I mobbed down to the school with Jasmine,Damien and Rene lol it was so funny because here I am 5"0 104 lbs, mad storming down the street with both babies in the stroller ready to kick somebodys butt lol. We get to the school and mind you that office is soooo small its like a walk in closet or something! But there I am with both babies the stroller and Rene.Before I even say anything the receptionist is like "oh your Rene's mom right?'so I say "yes and..." she cuts me off and is like "I gave Mr. Johnson your messages he looked at them and then went to his classroom" so I say "Well he didn't call me back no one did!" and sahe says "Yea i don't know when they will get back to you." I'm getting madder by the moment now So I say "well can I talk to Ms. Owens?" "She's in a meeting" she says. "then I'd like to speak to Mr. Johnson." "uhhh he is starting his class." So I say "Fine I'll wait till one of them becomes available" SO I sit down  take Jasmine out of her stroller and let her walk around and I'm beginning to wonder why no one wants to talk about the note you'd think if it happened they'd be right there to say that he did and that was that. I look up and the receptionist is on the phone talking to someone then she says "Mr. johnson will be in in a few minutes." Not even 2 minutes later he comes in and says lets go in the pricipals office so we all go in and the room is the same size as the main office, small. So i start off by showing him the letter and saying that I didn't appreciate no one calling and he had absolutely no reason for no one returning my call and said unfortunately there is nothing he can do because the principal is the one who seen it and wrote the citation, so I said "well  I want to speak to her then" and he said "well she's in my class taking over so that i could talk with you and she has a meeting in 5 minutes. wtf?? "I thought she was in a meeting already thats what the receptionist told me!" I say and he looks at me like uhoh "so I say ;'well," and he says "well I'll try and send her in" he leaves and she comes in a few seconds after and says right off "I know he didn't say those things" I'm like WHATT? I say "when were you goingg to let me know that? after I punished him? you don't understand the level that this is on for me!" and she explains that the other 2 boys pointed the finger and they were in trouble also but like i told her those 2 boys don't live in my household and maybe their parents dont feel its that bad but i do. and she says Rene has a sweet heart and is very good he just got mixed up with the wrong bunch" then she asked Rene out of those other 2 boys which one had the potty mouth he told her and she thanked him and said she wouldn't put the citation on his record because he was not the one who said it but that he still needed to serve the detention because he was there and he had already been told not to hang around those two,which was understanding to me. I told her that the next time I want to be called and if they ever find out he didn't do something to let me know immediately because i take it pretty serious and it would be in his best interest to not be punished.She apologized and assured me next time they would call. I hugged Rene and told him to have a much better day at school and I left for home.After I got home I felt bad and was very glad that I didn't just listen to the note and punish him on top of already being punished,I'm so glad I didn't overreact because poor child would have gotten in trouble for the principals mistake and I would have felt 10 times worse! So from now on I'm going to always make sure before I react.So we had a nice weekend after all that Drama!I'm just glad he didn't say it and that he came straight to me and handed me the note instead of hiding it i'm really glad it is over.So now I can get back to worrying and stressing about other things now lol.

On a good note I have been doing some Pilates and yoga lately atleast 3-4 days a week and it really is helping me to relax!I am also praying everday for strength and the power to do something to empower me and hopefully others,I really want to make a difference and turn this depression thing around! I want to beat it not it beat me! I'm really trying to be patient and all and try and just breath and relax not let things get to me because as I was writing in my home journal last night I realized something for the first time and it's that you will never get anothre chance to do over! you only have this one life so why not make the most of it? I can't see letting my life just waste away while I do nothing.I'm gonna fight like hell to beat this and not let it get the best of me. I want to be soemthing and reach my goals and dreams,and i know it will take a while but I WILL reach them with God's help and by staying strong willed.I refuse to become another statistic or settle for less like my mother has,I want to do this for her as well so that her pain and suffering will not have been in vain.atleast she can feel she acomplished something and is strong through me. I want to be the positive role model in my childrens life and for them to learn atleast one thing and that is to stay positive and never ever give up if naything fight harder!!Because if you put your heart and mind into you can conquer it,achieve it,and be it!

                                                                                                              Devious**