I have the will to do absolutely NADA! I don't even know what I feel at times,but i notice I feel angry alot.I think i'm just tired and probably need a break which will never happen. The kids are good however but Jasmine now wakes up atleast twice a night,so when Damien isn't up for a feeding she's up crying or wanting a bottle.Last night was the first time I got to bed somewhat early 9:00pm and Jasmine only got up once and fell back to sleep and Damien slept pretty good too. It's been pretty hectic with the kids and trying to keep this place decent that i havent had time to post in my journal or even write in my home journal,i just don't have the time for much right now. I am completely frustrated not with the kids but with myself, I am sooo tired of being depressed that it makes me more depressed when it doesnt seem to get better,and my local mental health is just compilcated you have to go in fill out some papers and wait approximately 6 hours before you can be seen or talk to someone, now how exactly does that help someone who already feels frustrated,irratated and.tired and has to keep 2 babies calm for 6 hours! I mean are THEY  crazy?? on another note I have been working out a little nothing major mostly just to improve my down in the dumps mood and it does help a little,i find myself having to take deep breaths and relax and Yoga really helps me on that. So other than my crappy mood everything is fine. we are hoping to go to California the first of November to visit family but we'll have to see how our "finances" are lol. It would be nice to get away for awhile though! I feel as though i've been in jail or something lol the only time i get out is to pay bills or something, i think being locked up in these same 4 walls is driving me a little nuts lol,and not because of the kids because they usually are the ones who lift my mood with all the cute things they do and all the funny things Jasmine has learned to say, I think my being stressed out has everything to do with just being tired and frustrated with things beyond my control and having to hold it all in until it can't be hidden any longer, i also find that with everything that needs to be done in here i get bored outta my mind there's only so much routine I can handle! Although I know things could be alot worse I could really use some Calgon right about now lol.....

                                                        

Oh hon I know how you feel. I hope that finances allow for you to take that trip! Just a little suggestion...look into some free groups for Moms. There are a lot around here that allow for play dates when everyone gets their lil ones together in one room and sit around and drink coffee or go to the park together. It might help just getting out of the house for a little while.
Take care,
Aidan

Hey there. Just random blog hopping and came accross yours. Really enjoyed my stay. It's very pretty.